Protect Me
by Aokuro Hell Crew
Summary: [Aokuro oneshot] Prompt by Tumblr user whataremylines: "I jumped out of a wardrobe in IKEA screaming 'For Narnia' and landed on you by accident" AU


**A/N:** All fics posted from this account are authorized reposts from a specific group of writers on AO3. For info on who we are and links to the original AO3 fics, check out our profile! This fic was written by Crysty, Kate, and Melissa.

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Kuroko was just trying to buy a lamp. His dog had knocked his living room lamp over, and so now he was in IKEA. Well, now he was on the floor of IKEA, because some guy had just knocked the wind out of him by tackling him while yelling "For Narnia!" when he exited a wardrobe.

Aomine was surprised to meet something big and soft when he leaped out of the wardrobe. There hadn't been anyone in the way before he'd gotten in. "Thanks for the soft landing." He grinned down at the guy on the floor.

Kuroko took a few breaths of much needed air before answering, noticing that they guy still hadn't gotten off of him. "No problem. Perhaps you should use one of the store's many mattresses for landings instead of people next time though. I don't think Aslan would approve of you knocking me over."

Aomine's grin grew at that. The guy was pretty funny. "My apologies, good sir." He got up and stepped back a bit before he bowed low with mock formality. "I shall depart for the mattresses!" He pointed in the wrong direction and started an exaggerated march.

Kuroko nodded and sat up, rolling his shoulder to test the damage. It wasn't as bad as Kuroko thought it would be considering how tall the man who had landed on him was. "That's probably a good plan. I'll head off on my own mission for light sources. Narnia could use a bit more light. Especially since the wolf I'm staying with has destroyed a good chunk of it. I think he is in conspiracy with the evil witch."

Aomine pivoted mid-march to salute Kuroko with a "Good hunting" then continued on his way.

"You know that the mattresses are that way, right?" Kuroko asked, getting to his feet and pointing in the other direction.

Aomine paused, slowly turning to look back at Kuroko. "Really?" he asked, unsure. He'd made his dramatic exit already… He couldn't turn back _now_.

Kuroko nodded. "Yes, really. They're on the way to the lamps; I'll walk you there," he offered.

"Er, hah, haha… I knew that." Aomine walked over to Kuroko with a sheepish grin. "Thanks a bunch! I'm Aomine Daiki." He saluted once more. "I shall follow your lead."

Kuroko smiled. The guy was definitely weird, but he was cute. "Kuroko Tetsuya. It's nice to meet you," he said before he started walking.

They walked in silence for about an aisle before Aomine spotted something cool. He ran down the aisle and came back with two rolls of wrapping paper. "Swords for our mission!" he explained.

Kuroko grinned at him. "Dibs on the blue one," he declared, taking it from Aomine. "Onward." He said, pointing it. Someone passing by gave them an odd look, but Kuroko ignored it.

Aomine pouted a bit. "Red doesn't match my eyes." He fluttered his lashes for emphasis but burst out laughing.

"It doesn't match mine either," Kuroko replied.

Aomine smiled genuinely. "You'd look good with anything."

"You haven't seen me in the morning," Kuroko said with a light laugh.

"Is that an invitation?" Aomine quirked a brow, still smiling.

"It might be. We have to survive this mission first though. It's highly dangerous." Kuroko smiled at him.

"I shall protect you!" Aomine leaped in front of Kuroko, brandishing his wrapping paper sword and batting it at a calendar that hung from a peg.

Kuroko pretended to swoon. "My hero!" he cried out dramatically, clinging onto Aomine's arm and looking at him with exaggerated awe.

They walked arm in arm to the mattress aisle, Aomine stopping for random things along the way. He was currently outfitted with a towel for a cape and had gifted Kuroko with a large sunhat and plastic party jewelry.

"This is your stop. I am glad to have gone on this quest with you." Kuroko said, bowing to Aomine.

Aomine looked over Kuroko's shoulder with a look of horror, shouting, "Good sir Tetsu, I shall save you!" and wrapping his arms around Kuroko, flinging them onto a mattress that had been on the floor.

"I've been hit!" Kuroko said, pretending to have been impaled by his own sword when he was thrown backwards. "I'm fatally wounded, Aomine-kun!" he cried out.

"Noooo," he held Kuroko in his arms, crying out-and drawing a lot of looks from other customers. "What must I do to save you?"

"I need true love's kiss. It is the most powerful magic known to Narnia," he said weakly, his eyes slowly drifting shut as the 'wound' killed him.

Aomine smiled and leaned down, pressing his lips to Kuroko's temple, then cheeks, before finally stopping on his lips, tightening the circle of his arms.

Kuroko wrapped his arms around Aomine's neck, pulling him closer. "Aomine-kun, has saved me!"

"Kurokocchi! I thought we came here for a lamp!" Kise shouted, appearing from around the corner. "If you wanted to go shopping for boyfriends, you could have just asked _me_! You wouldn't have to come to IKEA for me!" Kise had tears streaming down his face.

"It appears a rival for my affections has appeared," Kuroko told Aomine calmly.

Aomine surveyed his competitor then looked back down at Kuroko. "But Sir Tetsu, my kiss has revived you. I am your true love." He punctuated that declaration with another, deeper kiss, ignoring their babbling audience.

When the kiss was done, Kuroko looked at Kise. "I am sorry, Kise-kun. It appears you have lost. I'm sure there is a tower with a princess somewhere in this maze of a store," he assured, and made a shooing motion.

"Kurokocchi! Are you abandoning me?! I drove!" Kise wasn't sure he had any more tears left in him.

Kuroko considered this. "Aomine-kun, do you have a steed that can get me home?"

Aomine sighed deeply, "I apologize, Sir Tetsu, but my steed is tired from the long ride to this place of adventure. It must return home soon." Aomine leaned down so he could whisper into Kuroko's ear. "I can't wait to see what you look like in the morning."

Kuroko blushed a bit, and then turned to Kise. "Kise-kun, can you give me a ride home from Aomine-kun's house tomorrow morning?"

"KUROKOCCHI, SO MEAN!" Kise was drawing a large crowd now.

"But can you?" Kuroko asked calmly, not seeming to care about the crowd. Although they had missed most of the key plot points to this adventure. He hoped someone had written it down for them.

Kise sniffed and glared at Aomine, still holding Tetsu. "Take care of your princess yourself!" He ran off, several concerned fangirls trailing. It seemed his search for a princess wasn't the issue, but rather his search for a tower to hide from the princesses.

"Can you take me home in the morning? It seems my ride has betrayed me," Kuroko asked Aomine.

"Hm, do you have anything you need to do tomorrow? I'm in college and I have no classes tomorrow." He smiled. "You could spend the day."

Kuroko considered it, trying to remember his life before he was a princess being saved by a knight in a towel cape in the world Narnia disguised as an IKEA. "I don't have any classes tomorrow either," he recalled. "So, I should be free to spend the day in your company, good sir."

Aomine held Kuroko up more, bringing their faces closer together. "I shall seal this promise with a kiss."

They got lost in the kiss until they were interrupted once more.

"Uhh, can you guys get a room not currently being held for sale," Mayuzumi said, irritated. He didn't get paid enough for this shit.

Aomine stood up from the mattress, bringing Kuroko with him, holding the smaller man bridal style. "We shall attend to my noble steed!"

"We should probably at least strip of the things we found in Narnia. I don't think Aslan will like us stealing from him." Kuroko said, gesturing to the cape and the sunhat.

Aomine carried them to the wardrobe they'd first met in front of and angled Kuroko so he could reach the doors. "WIll you please open the path to the regular world? We shall leave these gifts for the next visitor to Narnia."

Kuroko nodded solemnly. This was an important task. He leaned forward, being careful not to fall out of Aomine's arms, and opened the doors to the wardrobe.

Mayuzumi half wondered if he would have to fumigate everything those two had touched during their vomit inducing act before going back to his original job.

Aomine propped himself up in bed, looking down at Kuroko beside him. He kissed Kuroko's forehead just as the man started waking up.

Aomine hummed appreciatively. It was a great view. When Kuroko's eyes had opened to look at him sleepily, Aomine grinned.

"You look great in the morning."

Kuroko threw a pillow at him and closed his eyes to go back to sleep. The mission had taken a lot of energy, and lasted well into the night.


End file.
